Friday, March 2, 2012

the perfect Businesswoman; a men's perspective tho...needs citation and input

Businesswomen are slowly gaining equal footing with their male counterparts. In many areas, the days when men used to dominate the world of big businesses and huge corporations are waning. Local sexist can find them intimidating making it even easier to note a rather insignificant rise. The opinion of women (whether in high heels and red lipstick or maHhiya regila) is sought more frequently; this occurs in boardrooms and local chambers of commerce.

1. Emotions are a businesswoman's best friend
In a land where animals speak, tall hair is always gold and princesses are charming a book was published. The name of the book was “WHAT MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN” – it had 100 pages and they were blank!!!!!!! Men can invest countless of hours trying to formulate a logic graph women use in reasoning.... and we know that the hours would fill up the tab on the wasteful living bill. We seem to be failing both at personal and professional level, why? Well blame it on EMOTIONS. Yes, the same name that appears when men are talking about love, romance, heartbreak etc. That maybe caused by chemical imbalance or just plain be solved as “the nature of women” but that is the reason men can never even hope to understand a woman’s logic. We all have emotions but just like sea waves women can harness the power of emotions to their benefit. They can decline loaning a company a loan because the CEO didn’t talk re-assuring words, they can buy stock shares because they “feel right” etc while men need figures and past scenarios to merely start talking about the decision at hand. .A recent study shows that in SADC, close to half (a whooping 41.2%) of large companies are woman-headed! And a steady increase of 6% a year are Owned by woman. Translating to more emotional board meetings, AGMs and end of year parties. Women should embrace this obvious advantage and have mentorship programs to help one another instead of shutting emotions completely. Besides life is not all about work and emotions are a woman’s essence. The rise in woman headed companies is simple because the business sector is saturated of logic-inspired businesses. Imagine Oprah, imagine Verimark, and imagine elbdo? Without these "emotional" products we would have "dry" reasonable TV. Examples being TV without the famous words "u win a car" since it is logically wrong for a TV host to say since TV networks are all about ratings caused by marketing. Without Verimark, no man in his logic brain would dedicate a whole TV network for developing household products like Flowwiz, twister as this means an entire network aimed at half the population i.e. females. So emotion is humanity and we all know the words of Boksville - "the greatest invention will be a human so we can see how priceless we are! " LoL! Joking, we all know this one..... Galilee Galileo -- "doubt is the father of invention"... U cant be always sure. Be emotional as u can be, be irrational, use your woman intuition... After all we have one life to make it big.

2. Have good sex every night!!!
LoL! Well the sex is an example and of course an attention grabber. Basically all I mean is ‘do everything outside work as much as you can’. Business is relatively easily to manage unlike school work since there are no home works and late nights studying. In business when you are @ home you are @ home. Never cheat you family the great women you are! Cook delicious food every night, wear your sexy dress to the evening service, water the flowers and watch yourself some Isidingo every night!!!!!!!!! Why? You are a woman and you love these things. The basic motive is to have a support system when the business is going through slumps like recessions and bad staff relations which can be daunting. Also another sub benefit from doing well on both worlds is that when all is well is well at home your stress is reduced. We know that you will have to pray every 5 minutes for your husband to drive safe and your kids to wash their hands before putting them in their mouth but at the end you can only try as much to reduce your stress.

3. Avoid bad habits!
In this Judgmental world of jealous men. Try to reduce activities dragging down your image as they are waiting on the sidelines like a desperate woman preying over your marriage to fall apart. Jealous men are annoying as they hide their game play from you and fight behind closed doors. So vele you have to avoid any signs of falling apart even if the falling apart seems inevitable until u actually fall apart and call in your friends and order a tub a chocolate, the client will understand if they see the kids playing outside your office and that you have actually divorce rather than throwing tears for something you feel is up next. Avoid promiscuity simple because men never watch BASIC INSTINCT and they just don’t take scandalous women seriously! Requiring you to put more effort branding your business. Try to invest in good behavior! Good behavior not expensive behaviors like charity and golf unless your purse is bulging. Examples of less taxing good behavior are for an instance, language learning, cooking classes, joining book clubs, inspirational podcast download etc

4. Climb the leader up ways!
your rise in corporate leader must be proportional to your financial input in the family/relationship. Pay for your man ko-Lunch or 3 months worth of electricity units would make your fam-members/hubby support and be happy for you.

5. Be a sexy thang!
feel good about yourself! Always! As this will help ur immunity from external factors making u feel bad. Don't worry about your man; he always gets in tune if he really loves u.

6 Be yourself
well this is #1 rephrase. Be a woman, crave Custard, shout Tyra! When u c her on a magazine @ work! The world is looking for character not CVs


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Friday, February 3, 2012

Perfect businessMAN ; how to balance love and business

Lwazi Cyril Dlamini (Boksville) presents another (Cyrillic merchant Bank) CmB special.

There is no one-size-fits-all formula for being a wonderful lover and prominent business. Every woman, every relations and every business has different requirements. But there are some common issues that many couples face, and if you're dealing with them, the following guidelines will help you become a better money making lover.

#1 SHE HAS TO BE "A" (ONE) PERSON
The greatest ancient gatherer and hunter got laid the most as evoluntary caused women to long for his genes. There are almost 3 women for a single guy. Honestly it just doesnt work out! To reach your full potential you need some inner expression in your life. That is where your uniqueness is. That is the only thing that the world needs from you! That is your offering to this world and if your business is NOT in line with that? Forget it! Only ONE woman can touch that inner you. The reason many women don't? It is because moving from woman to woman is a sign of cowardice to own up to your mistake. So its both good for you and for the relationship. BESIDE, A HAPPY BUSINESS MAN IS EQUAL TO GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!

#2 BE HONEST
Honesty can give you numerous brownie points. I learnt this in my relationship, women want to be part of the team. Just like men and their soccer teams they want to support what they know and approve. It is also good for business in countless ways as she can take your biz-calls when you are in Jail for D&D after a super weekend!! Also when your business partners/colleagues discorver how upto date ur love-vessel is? That is +points for envy and respect! This is good for business relations and image.

#3 PRIORITISE
Okay its now the honest guy forum huh? Nada mfe2 no 1 is perfect. But most importantly your line of honesty shud be God---->yourself---->Parents----->wife----->friends blah blah then lastly world. Be honest to the 1st four? U will not have absent minded meeting, immune to blackmail, afraid of mediawores! BESIDES A HAPPY BUSINESS MAN IS A GOOD HUSBAND!!!

#4 INVOLVE HER!!!!!!
Shares and meeting invitations can be a women's best gift. She stays with you, she wants whats best for you and most importantly she KNOWS you!! Putting her on the deciding board helps you disect stressfull moments of taking business to home. Which should be kept at minimal but admittedly un-avoidable!! Also with share it helps when she gets yearly dividends which makes her aware of the weight of a good deal. BESIDES A SUPPORTED TEAM ALWAYS WINS AGAINST EQUAL OPPONENTS!!!


#5 EARN YOURS WORK HOURS
it is simple. When ever you're completely free? Be with her! Its more on the priority scale. She should get 1st preference to free time. So the next time you have to hit the conference room while its her friend's wedding. Her friend's could be avoided to make BITchy comments like "girl! he doesnt treats you right" when the friend is actually marrying an 87 yr old diagnosed with cancer or the single friend (less said the better). So if she has pictures of you on a horse ride somewhere in Shiselweni? Or a handmade bracelet u made from the cow's skin u slaughtered at the "getting married" friend's emaLOBOLA. BESIDES FOR EVERY HAPPY WIFE THERE IS A BETTER BUSINESS ENVIRONMENT!!!

Don't worry ill be publishing something for your woman too. We can't all men be the business brainiac!

One love Boksville!!!
This is another CmB special!!!!! Cyrillic merchant Bank on ya face.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Tough Economic times II : Negotiation -the seller's point of view

Lwazi Cyril Dlamini (Boksville)

This is another (Cyrillic merchant Bank) CmB special. We all know how stressful it is to sell ANYTHING. Matter of fact, unless the particular item for sale is incredibly rare, the buyer usually has the advantage. So i will try and help Swaziland's (and Africa's) market makers..




Read on....



1) RULE #1

Oh my innocent seller. Rule #1 the seller never gives out the true price!!!!!!



2) DIFFERENTIATE YOUR PRODUCT [please spare me math students]

Well, a seller has the misfortune of selling a single item which has numerous similar products in the market! So the best effort u can do, is to "tweak" your product i.e. MAKE IT DIFFERENT. There are many ways in which one can tweak a product but ill focus on cost-effective ones. Let’s start outside as usual. Packaging is very crucial. Some items made to the household name tag only because of their impressive outlook. Good examples are brands like Topper Creams biscuits, UZZI jeans, etc these brands are not from reputable companies like the ‘Zing’ fruit juice, Benny chicken stock, squeezer and other cheap brands. What made Topper Creams shoot from 2.50SZL to 5.00SZL in 3 years is a factor of its packaging. Zing fruit juices, squeezer had impressive starts like Topper Creams and rest assure they also had fairly good quality. The only factor that made people attach bo-Zing with poor quality was their outlook and packaging quality. To compete with the best you have to bring out a good show to get maximum exposure. This enables people of high status to bluntly try out your product straight from the shelf without any referral.

Secondly also invest in good after service. Make sure the buyer doesn’t associate regret and your business. This is evident in the issue of cell phone resellers in Swaziland. Indians and the guys at the bus rank can offer great Smartphone at unbelievable prices, but people still buy at bo-MTN, JET, etc because of after service.





3) THE CSI AGENT [look for sub-conscious signs]

Scan sub-conscious signals! He/she may be wearing cheap clothes coz he/she is off for training or he is out for pizza. He maybe a construction contractor or a multi-million soccer player or someone who knows how to negotiate like people who read my blog. So using clothes as a measure? No go! So "scan" for things like clipped nails, lovely legs (esp. the cheesy ankles), respectful speech patterns, poor memory, lack of accessory, clean shoes, well managed (pouch/new face) medium level phone etc are the green lights to set ur negotiation price high. People with extra-clean teeth, not disrespectful, un-ironed expensive pants, dirty/old expensive shoes, new high end phones, too many accessories (tablet, watch, phone and diary), too much question showing intense research, clean cut new/trendy hairstyle, all expensive outfit and they are NOT females/image consultants/celebrities/multi-millionaires/top officials? They are the for serious negotiation, if u can’t reduce ur price? Don’t strain yourself they are basically window shopping

if they are there for the 1st time. Just maintain your price and provide serious! Very serious good customer service!!! So as soon as all their "debts" are cleared? All is well, they come thru. Window shoppers are good domestic scouts? A good customer service = high referral rate.



4) THE PICASSO OF MENTAL PICTURES


Paint the picture of him/her owning the item. This is done by explaining common situations where by if the customer had your product life would be easier. Be common as common [lol not the rapper] can be! This is done to avoid misinterpretation and giving out a scenario which maybe either distasteful or ethically wrong to the client. Make general statements such as, the sunroof is ideal for those sunny winter days where the aircon is a bit cold to use and sun is a bit hot to ignore. Instead of saying the sunroof is good for avoiding sleep when driving at night sleepy and/or drunk.



5) QUALITY LEMONADE HAS AN EQUALLY IMPRESSIVE "AFTER TASTE"!

Sell only quality products that you can fix up to at least 10% of its common problems. This is for portfolio building, increase of good word of mouth marketing. This is passive negotiation. When your product is good, the next client will come with the exact amount of money. This is good for financial projections and budget planning as the stock leaves your hands at a manageable price. That is why you always negotiate to the Indian selling import cars because you have strong points like “what if seyifa ke lemoto”



6) NEVER FORGET RULE #1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Yours sincerely Lwazi Cyril Dlamini aka Boksville!



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Thursday, January 5, 2012

TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES; PART 1: Negotiating a deal (buyer's guide)

What’s hood yall, this is a Cyrillic Merchant Bank Special. We give you tips to negotiate your price to any valuable you desire. With these tips you will be able to buy your favorite import car, get that flat land esicintsini, the hot 5L bucket of scones, second hand laptop at the price fit for your wallet.



RULE 1: DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED!!!!!!!!!!
Always be prepared to conclude the deal WITHOUT obtaining the item. A successful reseller inserts a mental picture of you owning the item. So to be immune to this extortion always try to remember rule #1. to add to your advantage, know that the seller doesn’t have money, YOU pay the salaries if it’s a company and you get the food on the table if it’s a person. So if the salesman doesn’t announce a suitable price? Don't PAY HIS SALARY!!!!!!!!!!


RULE 2: KNOW WHAT YOU WANT but KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'RE WILLING TO PAY FOR IT
We all know Sony Bravia TV sets, Mercedes Benz E-class, Guess Jeans etc these are brand names and they are expensive. A decent Sony Bravia screen can set you back @ 6,000SZL and an entry level Merc Benz E-class can thin your wallet by half a million Emalngeni.. Does that mean you can’t have a TV if have less than 6,000SZL? Does it mean all the people not able to afford the 600SZL guess jeans walk around town anti-denim? All I am saying is, define your desire and have a price for it. For instance if you have 300SZL yet you want a stylish clean cut jean. Then ask the salesman @ Edgars, he will remove ur broke ass from the Levi's/Guess sector to the Stone Harbor/J-Ex section.

Same thing with land emakhaya, for 10 grand you won’t get the "prime land" that is flat and near the road, but you can get the sloppy land near the road and level it and make it "prime". Simply because you told yourself that you need a piece of land and your budget is 10k. not the chief dictating your future home budget.


RULE 3; DONT FORGET "RULE 1"!!!!!!!!!!
U may be already doing your math and find that u need to make a sacrifice. This is good sometimes, like when you’re buying a company like Google in 2001. Sacrifices are never good but they are almost always recoverable. So make Sacrifices for improving your financial life rather than just pure outlook.


RULE 4; YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPARE!!!!!!!!!!!
After hearing the offer, you have the right to say "wow" thank you, I am going to compare and also verify with my people. A good deal is good everywhere. You can also check out other offers and see how the other offers do in the market. If they are identical to your offer but selling like hot cakes from the other side? Research why? It maybe simple as "time based" i.e. your seller is from a new kid in the block. Or it may be crucial like discovering you seller is a con artist or not the authorized reseller thus leading to poor after service.


RULE 5: IF YOU ARE FINANCIALLY FORTUNATE ENOUGH, TAKE DEALS FROM TRIED AND TESTED BUSINESS'/LOCATIONS/SALESMEN ETC
We all know how depressing it is to buy something faulty nje. It is increasingly depressing to buy something from a company with poor after services. Always go for big brands and authorized dealers. Ask around before you buy….as for Swaziland ALWAYS ask around before you buy big products esp. piece of land.


RULE 6: DRESS LIKE A SLOB
It is tough economic times and people see "tenders" when you come to purchase a piece of land or an import car wearing an Armani Suit with Rolex providing the time. Wear as broke as your wardrobe can make you look. After all you don't need to impress, but only seeking someone to impress you enough to earn your money.


RULE 7: HAVE CONFIDENCE AND AIM HIGH!!!
You maybe dressed like a hobo but never have a salesman make you not to feel @ home at his premises. Carson Wheels showroom was constructed for you and me. They could slit their own throats if no one could march in for the whole month. Remember you're carrying the seller’s salary and the whole building was constructed for you to walk in. Always aim high!!!!!! If you don't, no one will do it for you. Come in @ first international and ask if you can buy the import Golf 4 @ E10,000 less the price. Even if u can take it @ E2,000 less. You have nothing to loose except your ego[which you lost @ the gate as F.I is not a VW dealer utsengana nema-Dzubhi]. Go bargain crazy if u have the cash @ hand

BOKSVILLE OUT

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Truth behind STOCK Exchange

Economics

job title: Stockbroker

Ever wonder how the stock market makes money while companies are never actually bought nor sold? How investors make money by buying company shares and reselling them while the owners of the company never rotate? Here is a revealing mental picture about Stock exchange.



A STOCK-BROKER from SSX (Swaziland Stock Exchange) takes note on how his facebook friends
complain about stray dogs. He researches on where stray dogs are actually a prominent problem. Upon discovering he reaches a decision that the next stop is Mbabane.

Upon arrival in Mbabane he finds that the Mbabane Town Council pays on E5/stray dog and ppl are not encouraged to risk bieng beaten for E5. He buys the business from Town Council and he announces that he will pay E50 / stray dog submitted. So ppl actually get jackets and become un-official freelance dog collectors. Upon completing their task since there is HARDLY a visible stray dog.

The money to pay /stray dog is advertised @ SSX as "investment portfolio @ E50/unit", and ppl hardly notices the coincidence of the portfolio unit price and the unit price for a stray dog. (Besides wud u think the Central Bank of Swaziland knows anything about chasing around dogs in town?) The ppl who buy (or actually pay for stray dog collectors) are called investors.
When they ask where their money is goin, they are told its used to buy gov bonds or town Council rates patents.

The purchasing of stray dogs is called STOCK accumulation! As the dogs are few so are the investment portfolios and the price is raised to E150/unit. This will be followed by the headlines "New investment portfolio is volatile!!! Hurry while stock lasts" (the guy in the Merc buying shares DESPISE the freelance stray dog collectors and finds them annoying since he DOESN'T know that they are the money makers)

then the stock-broker tells the freelance collectors that now he will pay E100/stray dog!!! Now even a dog barking outside the gate is considered a stray dog. As the stray dogs become more scarce he advertises that it is now E400/ stray dog. Now ppl with E800 puppies will submitt them as stray dogs for the instant cash.

When all wells are dry he announces, E1, 000.00/stray dog. Ppl go crazey and they need stray dogs desperately.

The stock broker asks his assistant to sell all the collected stray dogs to ppl of Mbabane for E500. As they now know the worth of a stray dog? They all buy a stray dog for E500 waiting for next week to sell it to the stock broker, not knowing they are victims of speculation. As soon as all the stray dogs are bought, The stock broker announces that Mbabane Town Council has brought back the stray dog business from the broker. The Town Council after buying the business from the broker will soon realise that every1 has a "stray" dog and instead of actually buying stray dogs from the Town Council? Ppl are eager of selling their "stray" dogs to the town council aka Market saturation. Bad news hit the Mbabane Town council board. They announce selling the stray dog business and they never find a buyer. The stock broker has collected all the money he paid for in 5 folds.

The good news is announced @ the stock broker's firm board meeting. Shareholders get a 20% increase which is E75 and E190 for the E50 and E150 unit holders. Leaving him with almost E150/stray dog from no capital.

He gets a bigger fund subscription . The investor are impressed by the broker's fund and they'll support him in all furure endeavors. He gets a happy family and huge income. The investor's some of them made losses since they bought stray dogs as "streetwise extra-income". But they are now convinced that the streets don't make money, it is risky only invest on the stock market.

At the end? Ppl's money is taken and justified while mathematically not even 1 (one) stray dog was bought from the ppl of Mbabane as a whole. The stray dogs returns to the streets as ppl don't find them valuable anymore. The real capital here is SPECULATION!!! When ppl actually see all the dogs bieng bought for E50? They were shocked (shock is an agent of mentalparadigm shift) and they start believing in a distant reality that STRAY DOGS ARE VALUABLE.

Investor's money is multiplied, if taken, legal action to recorver the Investor's money. The Investor's are protected but not the ppl.

Remember the STOCK-BROKER HAD NO START-UP CAPITAL!!!!

Monday, December 26, 2011

As an individual what does PART I & PART II mean?

Cyrillic Investment/Merchant Bank

well u've heard what the Swaziland Government should do (and somewhat u sure they'll never read it). Ur question is what abt me?

Well 1st and formost! If u read this and u happen to be the PM pls implement some of my ideas! Pls i beg.

K back to the question.


YOUTHFULL DETOUR, LIGOTJWA LUSEMANTI!!!

1st and formost, human biengs are NOT businesses! They are complex structures with a stomach, heart and brain. The brain part is easy coz its the business part. But humans HAVE TO EAT and HAVE TO FEEL GOOD! Businesses dont. But humans yep, so now i am talking about the "feel good" side infused to business.


If u r under 30 and u already have more debts than 10k (10,000 SZL approx £1k or $1,200)...be it ur 6 loving daughters or u gold digging/unemployed but spender wife or gf then, i am sorry unless u are SUPER consistant, or hard core DISCIPLINED or u earn more than a 40K a month.... U have failed ko life!

When u r young its time u invest in getting long term investment.

Tips for youthfull investment
- avoid clothes above 1k/item unless its a leather coat and blazers____safetry shoes___lagauge bag___weeding gown etc i mean things u dont wear everyday

-avoid buying cars with low resale value unless its ur 1st car (hatchbacks to be specific)

-buy "stupid" things and put them @ home. Like wheelbarrows, Shovels, lawn mourers, chest freezers(not a fridge, too fragile!) they are cheap and have immaculent lifespan! They also quite handy.

-avoid Common cellphones. Eg Nokia 3310, N95, C3, N73, N70, N97, blackberry all!, Sony Experia, LG ks360 etc. Go for non-common phones, like N86, Dell streak, Nokia 5250, Nokia 6600 slide etc. A perfect example is the Nokia N86 8megapixel. Some friend bought in 2007 for 3k, sold in 2010 for 2.8k!!! Not even the most feature rich phone can deppreciate that slow, why? Because its not common.

-avoid expensive IT brand names, eg Sony LCD TV, Warfadale blueray player etc go for the most finctional cheap product. In 3 yrs in IT is 15yrs! Look at the pentuim IV hyperthreads???? Dual cores? The 9k Sony bravia 32inch @ 4k? The Asus LGA 775 MOTHERBOARD?

- invest in good habits. Eg 2slices of bread and tea to give u that "full sensation" instead of 12 slices of hot bread and soup. Avoid bad happits like smoking and drinking before u get a 20k/month Job.

- invest in D.I.Y knowledge, eg Carpentry, wheel changing etc.


YOUTHFULL ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who said someone should sleep 8hrs?
Who said someone should work 8hrs?
Huh? Isnt it an OLD biology professor?
Pls yaLL, harness your youthfull energy?... Build your own dog house, trim your grass, wash your car and for crying OUT loud!!!!!!!! Wash your own clothes. How can a 30yr old man visit the laundry when he sleeps 8hrs? That is terrible!!!!!!! Add on the hobbies, take cooking lessons, chinesse lessons, guitar lessons and remove ur lazzy bum from the couch!!!!!!!

A sound young adult man should be able to to do 30% of his chores without aid. Unless he works 24hrs, which is VERY VERY GOOD


AFTER INVESTMENTS (INVENTORY) GO FOR THE BUSINESS side of feeling good.

- always butlick your immediate family. ie ur MOM and DAD...also siblings, NOT MORE THAN 4 top fwends and the love of ur life. NB extended family is optional, friends outside the top 4? A smile and chat over a half-half paid drink is enuf. This is for reputation investment! When u are down, acting strange(drugs, stealing chickens ekasi etc) and other bad stuff u can have these ppl to fall oN. They'll protect u only as much as u deserve.

- In ur sim-card have a space of 20 contacts (below 30) and 15 contacts (above 30) outside ur immediate family of Business ppl u MUST neva disappoint. These ppl shud be gud ppl, they shud also show loyality and interest in ur activities.

- invest in Enterprenuership Mags and blogs eg "My Blog (www.boksville.blopspot.com), "Your Business" Magazine, "Succes" Magazine, "Tribute" Magazine. The best answer to why? "We bath everyday coz a bath doesnt last a lifetime, so is motivation".

- invest in chain of command! Know who is "the guy" to talk to, inorder to get a promotion. Know the chief's daughter for fast process when applying for SNL land.

- create an Linked IN account, to see other ppl ur age who have succeded and stop feeling like Jay-Z in Citi Golf!


This is the self-marketing. In America young ppl get to inherit this @ the age of 21, in Swaziland? Average age of 32!. Lets lower the age to increase chances of succes!!!!

After all SIYINQABA!!!!

PART II What the Swazi Gov needs to do

C.I.M.B (Cyrillic Investment/Merchant Bank)

we have learn'd how America, Tibiyo increases their worth even with debt on their name(America)

The outlook? We can't rake in outside sponsers because we known of political stability? Right? Well so is america (just that it was registered as racism)

H.I.V prevelence? Well vele ke we acting reckless as a nation. Taking note @ the vast social circle i have? The Swazi youth is acting crazy! They cheat, rubberless, they honestly dont know which 1 is their true partner. Polygamy! One wife cheats? The whole lot of other wives get infected! The Gov should find a different way of approaching the nation as to AIDS.

That my economic friend is MARKETING! Hidding all the dirt under the rug, is the best MARKETING a gov can do.



SITUATION ASSESMENT!
K we do not have foreighn investers, why is gov not taking over the country? Its theirs lol!. Did we really needed NMC? Nope Metro? Nope. Thats why as soon as they was a small pressure they suffered drastically because they were operating at minimal level.

Imagine, Gov taking all the March 2012 salaries and using it to STOCK retail commodities? That wud mean a retail cheaper than Pick n Pay, Saverite, "emandiya" etc. Buy the time they reach March 2012, the salary wud be atleast produced back and more than quater stock left. Buy the end of the year they wud be all covered.

Manje they looking for neck tie state of the art biz opportunities, like the F*#K'n SKHUPHE AIRPORT??? Imagine 2 airports for a 1million population? Matsapha airport has huge area for advancement! I know some1 will say "kunetintfo letinga tati". Well its tax payers money, tell us whats up!

The word here is, when u starting, always go short term! To cover money within the needed space of time!

Perfect example? China! Basic biuldings and cheap electronics bieng shipped out every 10 min.

Swaziland could go Agriculture (as it needs less technical know how and permanent infrastructure). Imagine if RSSC was a Ministry of Agriculture wing? Or Sappi?

Swaziland Gov HR to do note
- Opportunity scouts

- Nerds spending hours on the internet looking for the next buble

- technological and infrastructural advisors (i am sorry but they need to be from Salessian/Sifundzani/Enjabulweni/Evelyn Baring/Mnz Nazerine/St Marks/Tubungu/Khanyisile u know what i mean )PRIMARY!

-foreighn high paid anti-corruption auditor, with a 2 yr contract non-renewable

-tell the IMF to go fly a kite

-make Sibusiso Barnabas, Police High Comissioner

-buy NMC and Sappi (the world will always need Maize and logs ALWAYS!!!) If south Africa is alright then move on!

- impose the Ministry of Youth affairs to be active in night-time entertainment! There is a lot of money! Short-term money

-fire the whole CTA staff and post adverts to open source. CTA did a pour job managing the wonderfully chosen gov cars! The Swaziland can choose cars Hands down! If all the cars could be repainted and fixed to tip top shape? The swazi roads could be colourfull.

End of part II

PART I ....What African States(esp Swaziland) should learn from USA

THE BACK BONE

The most common economical equation "Y = C + I + X + G |"

**Y=pot. GDP
C= total consumtion Goods + services
I= net investments (previous yr investments + new
investment - deppreciation)
X = net exports (exports - imports)
G = Gov net expenditure. (gov exp + (-bonds)
Common sense leads u to know that Y is always
"resultant". Just like the "F" in F =ma [physics]. There can
NEVER be acceleration without friction(opposing force)
bieng overcome. So the F is always resultant.
K back to Y. If Y is resultant then it shud be (-G)? Nada!
Here is the deal. A correct way to look at it is like this Y =
(C + X + I) + G. Making G an independent subject.
Dividing every thing by Y, you get the "GDP identity"
1 = C/Y + X/Y + I/Y +G/Y and taking gov expenditures to
the resultant factor u get
1 - G/Y = (C + X + I)/Y. Via common sense you can see that
IF gov. expenses are increased this lowers consumption,
investment and net exports. Now we all know lowered
consumption and Investment = increase in
unemployment.
Increase in unemployement = 3 times lowering of Y
("ohkums law") since (3 factors affect Y). Now were all
know there is always unemployed ppl (natural
unemployment rate) plus those looking for jobs and those
inbetween jobs (frictional unemployment)! Making
unemployment a "resultant" subject.
So now here is America goin to Iraq =(increase in gov
expenditure). They spend on amour and energy. They
borrow cash from mainland China (increase in
investments). What do they do? They spend on marketing!
= facebook, wiki, AIG, Obama, etc. We buy it. We watch
them announce trillions of deficiet.
Whats next? Tax increase, mortgage. Mhhhhh what is
TAX? Do u think its fiar for a guy earning 1million a week
staying in Tembelihle to pay the same rates as u the
neighbour working for him earning 1million a year!. Just
because Vusi from Mbabane Town council says nihlala @
the same location and use the same amout of
land? ....think abt it, the poorer gets poorer and the rich
gets favours (same shit happens @ Tinkerz nxa!! Well
thats another story **repeat customer service)
now back to Y = C+X+I +G. Now the war on Iraq is done G
(gov expenses) reduces greatly.

The world is on facebook, twitter, Android, Microsoft,
apple iOS. (net exports) X increases. Why? Do u think
microsoft will be out of resources???? Do you think so?
How? They dont do shit, they make software! Software is
the figment of the mind. U dont need trees to make the
speakers of WMP11. You dont need silicon to make iPlay
valley. You jst need a geek and diet soda. But what do we
pay? Millions jst to pay all of bill gates diet sodas.
More software apps produced. Ppl buy it in the States =
increase in C.

They give us (Africans) food aids, why?. Remember when
the US troops were given 1.2ha land in Ejaheni to plant
trees? They plant around 10 trees and left. Thats net
investments ppl! They need that piece of land to build
something of their benefit. Thats why china is "donating"
millions for the technology park. To get the increase in I
now with everything increasing.... What do they do???
They engineer a recession. They show their debts like its
new, kantsi beyvele ikhona. ("bad news shown at the
right time can lead to good news" --- Barak Obama)
during his 1st visit in Egypt exaclty 90 days before the
"uprising" begun.

A recession is when petrol is high, food prices r high,
everything is high. That means what E1 used to buy can
not buy. What does that make E1? A piece of shit! Thats
when bantfu batsi lilangeni liyawa. But what IF the prices
are actually low, what made them bigga was TAX? That
means its expensive for the nation (may eg bread costs E8
yet E3.50 goes to gov). What does that mean? The longer
the recession the more the gov make.
So what happens next? Coz the ppl are suffering now. We
get that foreighn dough. (the American lottery visa).
Invite ppl to spend in America and tax the hack out of
them. They wont c coz we also doin the same thing to our
fellow american.
TAX increase = increase in I. As I reaches saturation. Boom
prices lower down "coz of the damn recession" nope. To
increase consuption!!! Thus befining a new cycle...
As we continue to see the dollar increasing its value. TAX
improvements are bieng introduced in America. That my
friend is the American fomulae of bieng a SUPER POWER.


The economic steam engine!!!! By May 2012 the dollar/
rand will be close to R9!!!! Yet dec 2012 it will be at a
steady 7~7.5ZAR. The American can loose all its money but
gain total investments! They act as one stock broker, they
aquire stock!!!!


WHAT THE SWAZI GOVERMENT SHOULD BE DOING?

Remember Tibiyo? Tisuka?
[[[[please not this NEEDS CONFIRMATION, BUT because half of the swazi youth believes it, it is relevent has the BULLSHIT BEHIND Santa Clause is relevent today]]]].
They had approx 30,000 cattle as start up. as of 2011's average cattle price this is

30 k
X 4k
_____
120kK
(k 1000, so kk or k-square = 1000*1000)

E120kk = E120 000 000 = 120 Million!!!

If they focused on building a HUGE airport or state of the art bank? They wud be 2 million short and the building wud be half finished and money waisted! They focused on cash cows (Magevini,RSSC, Hotels(Sun International, MTN) sharesholding. "it is better to have half of something, that everything of nothing". Now they have a net worth of 6 billion. Infact their offices alone cud be as much as 60 million.

End of part I.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

6 STEPS TO MAKING PROFIT DURING A RECESSION



Stage 1: DEFINATION
Profit (accounting) can be considered to be the difference between the purchase price and the costs of bringing to market whatever it is that is accounted as an enterprise (whether by harvest, extraction, manufacture, or purchase) in terms of the component costs of delivered goods and/or services and any operating or other expenses.

Stage 2: FACTS
With less complex business' running in Swaziland, it is easy to maximise profits during recession. (fact 1 = most business are non-complex business in Swaziland)
This means the most noticable expense in Swazi business is RENT, TAX, FRANCHISE FEE and STOCK! This means most Swazi business have about 80% (4/5) of their expenses time-framed!
RENT = monthly
BANK LOAN = monthly
TAX= annually
FRANCHISE FEE = annually
STOCK (the product and infrastruct maintainence) = Unpredictable.

So this means forcusing on a time frame schedule, one has to look @ the business as a whole as a "to do note".

STEP 3: INCEPTION
My idea i am trying to plant is? Make loads of money in a short space of time.. Aka "Asian Economics". Instead of setting price @ "standard level" - considering demand, functionality, durabilty blah blah blah!

Consider the fact that no matter how good ur product is?
If month approaches without selling even 1? = no rent. (56% of Swazi Owned Company Closure).
also keep in mind that if this lasts for 6 months the LandLord has the legal leverage for a lock out!

STEP 4: VISUAL FIGMENT
So reducing prices? Will it help? Nope @ all! U have to also include a repeat customer strategy! Be it branding the product better or just providing after sales services! As long as u can make One Emalangeni (1.00SZL) per prodct and sell a million a day? Ull be an over 400million(approx £40 million/ $63million)a year company! That my curious friend is the numbers for HUGE companies like Swazi MTN, RSSC etc.

STEP 5: MAKE PROFIT DURING A RECESSION
If your product is cheap, it is already fetish for the less privilaged! (lol). Once ur product is everywhere? Then u'll become a brand name and worry about the luxury buyers. (eg Remember the ever cheap and reliable VW Golf? Now look @ the VW Toureg/Sirocco?. Do u think VW wud make it in the supercar level back in the days of Lamboghini Countach? Or in the SUV market during the days of Jeep Cheroke?).

STEP 6: BE RESPONSIBLE
After making profit, pay the rent and taxes! Do not do like Green's Restuarant. The rent may take alot and so is Swaziland Revenue Authority aka SRA (tax-mafia) but in due time it will accumulate and u'll be the wealthy man the actor in TV "acts" to be.

Lets See Swaziland's Economy balooning in 2012. After all SIYINQABA!